OMG, like totally stylin'!!

Hide your daughters...the scourge has arrived. No I'm not talking about Edison Chen, I'm talking about TOTALLY STYLIN' TATTOO BARBIE!


Comes complete with an assortment of cutsie, unoffensive tattoo stickers, as well as a temporary tattoo gun. You too can bring out your inner white-trash!

I'm all for girls getting tattoos, but you know that the little kids who pick this up aren't going to show the restraint that usually should accompany tattoo choices :-P.

The couple that inks together....

I have a tattoo of a scorpion on my upper right forearm. It's symbolic of a gift my father gave me when I was young, but it's also my zodiac sign (Scorpio). Tina's big into astrology and star signs (she's a Leo) and she'd always like my scorpion design.

As our relationship was growing, I guess my love of ink rubbed off on her a bit, and she informed me that she wanted a tattoo. Of course I was very supportive, but I was hesitant when she told me that she wanted an exact copy of my scorpion design. Our relationship was serious at that point (we were living together) but I wasn't sure where we were ultimately heading, and I was mindful of the countless warnings you hear from people who get their lover's name or other memento tattooed on them and then they break up and are stuck with an indelible reminder of their failed relationship.

But I didn't want to express my uncertainty to Tina because I feared she would interpret it as doubt on my part. I did tell her that I felt a little nervous about her choice and she told me that she was aware of the permanence and was cool with it. So I gave her my blessing and held her hand as she squirmed and winced as my constellation was gouged into her skin. I was proud of her for going through with it, but I was still haunted by the jinx that I heard so many stories about. She loved it and felt that we were more connected now, and I did too, but my cautious nature would often nudge me (really, I am a careful person, I just make decisions quickly).

Time passed.... The tattoo healed, life went on, and our love deepened. And now we're married. So if any of you lovebirds out there feel jittery about getting your partner's name inked on you or you're nervous about ink you've already gotten, don't be. There's no jinx; things may or may not work out in live but a permanent reminder isn't a curse, and may even make somethings more real. Don't worry, ink happy :-).


This is the design on my arm. Sorry, I don't have a photo of Tina's version; you'll have to wait till bikini season :-P

By the way, if you're having trouble sleeping and you're looking for some soothing music to help you drift off, check out Sepultura's new masterpiece A-Lex. It's a concept album interpreting A Clockwork Orange. Pristine, beautiful, ferocious sonic ultraviolence. The part about helping you sleep was just a joke.

Wedding Party!

Here are some photos from the wedding party Tina and I threw for our friends this weekend. We had a buffet dinner at a hotel restaurant, then wobbled over to a nearby bar, then Tina and I had our own 5-star party (sorry, you don't get to see those pictures :-P). This is just a sample- I'll upload some more when I get them from my friends.





















We had so much fun, we might just have to do it again :-).

Just Dropping By...

Hey surfer dudes and dudettes, just thought I'd stop by for a sec and give you all the 411 since my relocation to sunny Xiamen. And the word is....

Xiamen ROCKS!!! The weather is great, the city is gorgeous, I get to see the ocean everyday, and it's the perfect balance of cosmopolitan and small town. And the university where I teach is freakin' sweet. It's a private university under the umbrella of Xiamen University, and all things considered it's a great setup. Plus the campus is incredibly beautiful.

Of course I've been adding to my body art collection. Here are some of the new additions to my skin gallery.









Oh and one more thing- I'M MARRIED!! Yep, got the license and everything. This weekend we're having a small wedding party and in the future we'll have a big shindig in her hometown in Hubei province.

Her English name is Tina, and I met her at an English training center where I was working during the summer while I was waiting for the university semester to start. Now you're probably groaning about the cliche of foreign teacher/starry-eyed student hook-up, but she's the same age as me, not an easily-seduced naive youngster. Yeah of course she's blazing hot, but her personality and excitement immediately set her apart from the masses. Our relationship went full throttle really quickly, and this usually results in a crash-and-burn, but we just click on every important level and we've tied the knot after only 8 months. Both of our families are excited for us, and I haven't had a moment's regret about making such a drastic choice. And she's wild about me too :-P. I bought her a sweet diamond from America, and since I don't dig rings, I got something slightly more permanent for my ring finger. Peep the pix.











I hope you have a chance to visit Xiamen if it strikes your fancy. Who knows what treasures you might find ;-).

Turning the Page

In about a week I'll be leaving the old behind me and starting a new life in a new city with new friends and new adventures awaiting. I've had some good times these past three years but it's time for a fresh start in a different part of this massive country. Cheers for the future.

I've enjoyed blogging about tattoos and ladies and random weirdness these several months, but I'm think it's time to wrap up this blog. There will be plenty of more tattoos and hopefully more ladies in the future but I've found that writing on this blog saps my creative energies which are already a bit diminished being here in China and I find it more fulfilling to channel creativity into more tangible efforts. I used to do a substantial amount of poetry and short stories back in the day and I would like to pick that up again and this blog has been a convenient siphon that I must close.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by and to those who didn't, you didn't miss much :-).

Peace out chili dogs. TIC for better or worse.

Train Talk

During the 3-day Dragon Boat Festival, I meandered down to sunny Xiamen. I got sunburned, I got tattooed, I had beer spilled on me on the train, and I partied with football-crazed Swedes. Everything necessary for a great holiday weekend. I'll be moving to Xiamen permanently in a few weeks to begin teaching at a university there. 'Twill be sweet.

Call me crazy, but I prefer seats to beds on train trips. The beds are boring if you're traveling alone and even though the seats are less comfortable, it at least lets you watch people. Of course the seating cars are more messy and more noisy but I can sleep anywhere anytime, so even if I'm not tired, I just doze off for half an hour at a time.

However, the most annoying aspect of the seating cars are the migrant workers who spot the foreigner and their eyes light up like a kid's on Christmas. Here's some entertainment to relieve the monotony of Chinese train travel.

No disrespect, but the migrant workers are usually from the countryside and their public manners can be a bit lacking. When they see you, they will loudly point out that you're a foreigner (happens virtually everywhere in China) but they will continue talking about you, wondering where you're from, what you're doing in China, etc. The other passengers around them will join in the gawking and speculation, which can sometimes be quite comical. This weekend a group of men surrounding me were debating if I'm from Xinjiang or Russia (Xingjiang? For real?).

Now when this town hall meeting is going on, they will constantly be looking up at you. Unless you want to get tossed to the lions, do not make eye contact with them while they are talking about you. If you do, their faces will light up and one will call out excitedly, “听懂吗？“ You now have two choices: you can say yes and be subjected to an intense grilling with all of the questions that foreigners are exhausted with answering- "Where are you from?" "Do you like Chinese food?" "How long are you in China?" If your Chinese is good, the conversation will snowball and you will get bombarded by eager passengers who want to marvel at the speaking foreigner with increasingly complex and often personal questions- "How would you compare China and *your country*?" "How much money do you make?" "How many Chinese girls have you slept with?" If your Chinese is not too good, you will feel like you're taking a Chinese exam and the pressure to answer their questions can become aggravating.

Or you can lie and say that you don't understand and proceed to flip through songs on your MP3 player, and they will quickly lose interest. Of course, you lose an opportunity to make yourself and foreigners in general look good, but for me, it's usually not worth it. I enjoy speaking Chinese to people on the train who want to have a genuine conversation, and they are usually families and students. But if it's amusement they're looking for, I'm happy to be disappointing entertainment.

Lose a Lover, Gain a Language

It's been about three months since my girlfriend and I broke up, and I must say that my Chinese language ability has grown more in these three months than in the entire previous year. There are a few reasons for this, but the biggest reason was that her English was so damn good, we hardly spoke Chinese to each other, except to be cute. She also accompanied me everywhere and usually did the translation for me. In short, I became language-lazy. I was still making progress on my own time, but not as much as my single friends.

Now that I'm flying solo, I've really had to step up my skillz. I learned the Chinese necessities pretty quickly after I came to China and even when I was with my girlfriend, I was always making steady, albeit slow, progress. But language is more than just communication, it's also conversation. In the time since the break-up, I've gone out with a few girls, just to keep my game sharp ;-). Some of them speak little or no English, and of course we can't eat dinner or walk around the park in silence, so these situations have forced me to dig into my vocabulary and assimilate new words that I pick up. And with any exercise, it becomes easier with frequency. The girl that I'm currently rolling with doesn't speak any English but somehow we manage to have really enjoyable conversations together. Of course she teaches me new words and I return the favor but it's more satisfying to speak in Chinese, both for her and for me. Chinese people don't expect foreigners to learn Chinese well and it surprises and flatters them when a foreigner takes the effort to learn Chinese. Especially for the girls, because conversation is such an important part of a girl's life, and she will feel relaxed and excited if she can communicate with a foreigner in her native tongue. As Sinosplice John says, "Learn Chinese." Everything's sexier in another language ;-).

Speaking of sexy, my tattoo shop, which is primarily a make-up salon, had a body-painting show today. I'm sorry, I didn't bring my camera, but let me just say that slim, graceful Chinese girls with pictures on their bodies, painted or tattooed, are beyond hot.