Temptations

There's a very visible and popular figure with a gorgeous and exotic wife. However, because of his popularity, he is continually surrounded by and getting attention from beautiful women, and eventually he succumbs to the temptation, indulging his appetite for cheap thrills at relatively low-class establishments such as clubs and bars.

Sounds like Tiger Woods. But it could also be the hotshot foreign manager at the Shanghai office. Or the energetic foreign teacher at the university. Or the highly-regarded consultant who is brought to China several times a year for his expert opinions.

The fact is, if you're tired of eating at home and want to try a different dish, China is certainly an easy place to do it. You don't have to be a rich superstar- with the exception of first-tier cities where foreigners are old news, just being from a different country is enough to make many girls' eyes sparkle. Throw in the fact that Chinese girls are so gosh-darn beautiful and alluring, and you've got a recipe for easy creepin'.

Inside of every man is a dog, a dog with three things on his mind (and pardon the French that follows for the sake of alliteration): fighting, fucking, and feeding. These are primal masculine urges and they're very strong. But we're not dogs, we're men. The dog is a part of us, but there's something more inside that should overwhelm the dog. That's the gentleman, the lover, the father, the one who cares about others' feelings and realizes that short-term selfish satisfaction is callous and unrewarding.

I see so many wonderful girls in China who are treated so carelessly by their husbands/boyfriends. Now I know there are plenty of skanks and bitches in China, but I am continually amazed by Chinese woman's patience and devotion to their men, even if there is little reciprocation. A good woman should be treasured, and that means saying no to all the cheesecake walking around, even if that cheesecake practically throws itself at you. When I discuss relationships with my students, invariably the girls say that the trait they value most in a partner is honesty. A good woman shouldn't be dogged; her devotion should be returned. My wife is a masterpiece and everything that I want in a woman, and even though sometimes the dog inside snarls and barks, I'm not letting him off the leash.

Very Rock n' Roll Wedding Photos

After eight months of marriage and two wedding parties, Tina and I finally got around to making formal wedding photos :-). We enlisted the service of a photographer buddy and skipped across the bay to Gu Lang Yu Island, a picturesque garden island just off the coast. However, Tina and I are not really into traditions and we wanted to make our wedding photos unique, not the pleasantly bland flowers-and-satin variety you usually find adorning Chinese living rooms. We took some garden shots but the best ones came in a half-constructed villa. We took hundreds of photos, but here is just a small sample. We think the last two photos on this post are the money shots.

A Homestyle Wedding Party and The Death and Rebirth of the Sun

A couple weeks ago, my wife and I took a day-long train ride to her hometown in Hubei province to have a wedding party for her family.  We had already had a wedding dinner at our home in Xiamen in February but that was for our friends that live here.  Her parents had gone back to their hometown after living in Xiamen for many years, so we followed them back a couple of months later so that we could have a traditional wedding celebration there.

Tina's hometown is a small town out in the countryside, a clone of the countless small towns you pass by on those long boring train rides and never give a second thought about.  It was freakishly hot, so we were too tired to do anything but eat, sleep, and hang out with visitors.  One positive note is that extreme heat usually results in people spending a lot of time in bed together with little or no clothing, which is always fun :-).  All in all, it was a pretty boring week, but it was nice to see a new part of China and Tina's family, and also to take a break from summer teaching.

The wedding party was pretty low-key, just a lunchtime gathering of about 80 people, mostly family and close friends.  I was wearing the red and black silk suit that I wore for the first party, and Tina was looking angelic in a Western-style white wedding gown.  The beer flowed like wine, people were happy, hongbao was flung hither and yon, and later everyone crashed or played mah jong.  It was a fun experience but I'm definitely wedding-ed out.  Two is enough :-P.

On the way back, we got to watch the solar eclipse through our train window.  There was only a thin veil of cloud cover so the sun was clear enough to view.  We bought a piece of tinted glass so we spared our retinas from the glare.  I'd seen a total lunar eclipse back in America but I'd never seen a solar eclipse.  It was wild watching a black disc slowly eat the sun.  The best part was when there was just a shy sliver of light left, like a glowing eyelash.  Then- it was gone, and nighttime fell in a few seconds.  There was definitely a surreal vibe, kind of an ominous blackness like the anticipation before a catastrophic storm.  It lasted for a couple of minutes, then the sun made its encore appearance and life returned to normal.  It was a great way to end a unique week.

A Most Excellent Philippines Honeymoon Adventure

My university is a private university and so they don't always follow the same rules as the public system. One instance of this is a full-week May holiday instead of skimpy three-day weekends spread out over the spring (jealous much?). So what is a sun-loving laowai to do besides whisk his beaming new bride to a land of volcanoes, beaches, and traffic?

My aunt and uncle live in the Philippines, as do some of my parents' close friends, so we got the mad hook-up (places to crash, glorious food, private drivers). We were there for a total of six days, and it was jam packed. We took a carriage ride around Manila's old Spanish quarter, rode horses up an active volcano, slept in a cozy cottage overlooking the sea, and went scuba diving. The diving was righteous and I think I've got the fever.

The only bummer was the lack of sunshine. It was unusually overcast almost the entire week and rained often. But this wasn't too bad because it kept the bugs and the crowds away, and was actually very refreshing. But we had no major glitches, didn't get ripped-off or robbed or lost, and only had slight allergies when we first arrived. It was Tina's first trip out of China and I'm glad she had such a blast. And it was uber-cheap to fly and shop there, even by Chinese standards. Tina had quite the blowout at SM Mall, the capitalistic Parthenon of the Philippines.

A few observations about the Philippines: it was very different from what I was expecting. I've been to China's Hainan island and I guess I was expecting something similar, but the Philippines was far more Western than I imagined. In fact, it was too Western. I grew up in what most would call the ghetto in New York City and parts of Manila felt just like the delapidated parts of Queens. The graffiti, blaring party music, and gangster-clad youngsters running around made me wonder if I was even in Asia. It looked, sounded, and smelled like the Latino quarter of any major American city. I love Latin culture though and I enjoyed the ostentacious colors and decorations and the laid-back party vibe of the whole country.

The people looked very Hispanic as well, especially the women. I've known many Filipinas and having heard the legends, I was expecting to be surrounded by throngs of gorgeous senoritas but honestly, I was unimpressed. Having been in China for four years (and married to a lovely example :-), my standards for beauty have been raised quite high and I saw only a handful of Filipinas that I would consider beautiful, and if they were on the streets here in China, they would barely get a passing glance. I can't speak to their characters or personalities, but as far as appearance goes, Chinese girls outdo them in figure, poise, grace, make-up, and fashion no question. I was quite proud of all the envious stares directed my way as we made our way through the shops and beaches :-).

Compared to the Philippines, China is cleaner, more organized, and a bit bland, but I find it more fascinating and exotic because of its cultural distance from the West. The Philippines felt too familiar and this diminished its enchantment, but not its fun factor. I'd go back in a heartbeat.

The couple that inks together....

I have a tattoo of a scorpion on my upper right forearm. It's symbolic of a gift my father gave me when I was young, but it's also my zodiac sign (Scorpio). Tina's big into astrology and star signs (she's a Leo) and she'd always like my scorpion design.

As our relationship was growing, I guess my love of ink rubbed off on her a bit, and she informed me that she wanted a tattoo. Of course I was very supportive, but I was hesitant when she told me that she wanted an exact copy of my scorpion design. Our relationship was serious at that point (we were living together) but I wasn't sure where we were ultimately heading, and I was mindful of the countless warnings you hear from people who get their lover's name or other memento tattooed on them and then they break up and are stuck with an indelible reminder of their failed relationship.

But I didn't want to express my uncertainty to Tina because I feared she would interpret it as doubt on my part. I did tell her that I felt a little nervous about her choice and she told me that she was aware of the permanence and was cool with it. So I gave her my blessing and held her hand as she squirmed and winced as my constellation was gouged into her skin. I was proud of her for going through with it, but I was still haunted by the jinx that I heard so many stories about. She loved it and felt that we were more connected now, and I did too, but my cautious nature would often nudge me (really, I am a careful person, I just make decisions quickly).

Time passed.... The tattoo healed, life went on, and our love deepened. And now we're married. So if any of you lovebirds out there feel jittery about getting your partner's name inked on you or you're nervous about ink you've already gotten, don't be. There's no jinx; things may or may not work out in live but a permanent reminder isn't a curse, and may even make somethings more real. Don't worry, ink happy :-).


This is the design on my arm. Sorry, I don't have a photo of Tina's version; you'll have to wait till bikini season :-P

By the way, if you're having trouble sleeping and you're looking for some soothing music to help you drift off, check out Sepultura's new masterpiece A-Lex. It's a concept album interpreting A Clockwork Orange. Pristine, beautiful, ferocious sonic ultraviolence. The part about helping you sleep was just a joke.

Wedding Party!

Here are some photos from the wedding party Tina and I threw for our friends this weekend. We had a buffet dinner at a hotel restaurant, then wobbled over to a nearby bar, then Tina and I had our own 5-star party (sorry, you don't get to see those pictures :-P). This is just a sample- I'll upload some more when I get them from my friends.





















We had so much fun, we might just have to do it again :-).