The proxy server I usually use to access the sites that are apparently subversive to China's national integrity, such as Facebook and Blooger, has been blocked and I just recently found another that opens these sites, albeit in limited capacity, so it's been awhile since my last post. So here's the dilly:
Tina's about 4 months preggers and she's got a bit of a belly going on. She's over the first trimester sick/weak/want-to-die hump, though she still tires easily and is sore pretty much all the time. I've got fingers of steel now from all the massages I give her :-P. So far everything's normal and it looks like the baby will be born just before next semester starts, so hopefully I'll have a little time to be at home with her and the new bundle of joy before I have to return to work. Tina's mother will also be around so that helps greatly.
Other than that, nothing new. I've taken up a new hobby painting harlequin masks in various styles and patterns, and that helps release my creative energy since tattoos will be off the menu for awhile. We've gotten pretty good at saving our money, but we still go out and have fun every once in a while too.
It's a scary thought bringing a child into a world like this. Tina and I were trying to think of anything in the world that is getting better, and we couldn't do it. I guess we just have to have faith that everything happens in its own time, and in the end, everything will work out for the best. So in the meantime, I'll just smell the tea leaves, enjoy the sunshine, and try to think of good baby names.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Being a Manly Man in China
Getting your hands dirty tinkering under the hood? Highly unlikely. Getting buck wild at a rowdy rock concert? Virtually nonexistent. Watching the big game while wolfing down nachos and beer with your pals? Fuggedaboudit. Getting banged up and bruised playing contact sports or taming the rugged outdoors? Negative. Losing your temper while attempting home repairs/renovations? Sorry Charlie.
Most of the things we equate with manliness in America are largely absent from the Middle Kingdom. In China, if something breaks, call a repairman or buy a new one, because services are speedy and cheap, and most things are replaceable anyway. If you're lucky enough to have a car, it's usually a late model European brand, and those don't break anyway. Abusing your body in the name of sport or athletic challenge is a waste of time and health, and scars are meant to be hidden, not bragged about.
In China, flexing one's manly muscles usually boils down to three things: money, women, and social status. Of course these are essential manliness indicators in every country and culture but here in China, these are usually your best options.
Money: the more you got, the more man you are. If you own a wedding portrait studio, you are perceived as being more manly than someone who repairs cars for a living, because you are the boss, and boss=manly. And of course, with money comes the next two items on the list, so money is the crown of manliness.
Women: like money, the more you got, the more man you are. It is virtually unthinkable for a man of high status and wealth to have only one woman in his life. If you are a manly man, you've got enough dough to spread around on mistresses, KTV girls, and hookers. That's not to say that all Chinese guys indulge these appetites, but it really is an integral part of the culture and most men jump right in if they have the means. Of course, the women are usually not cool with it, but they often tolerate it because their philandering man is their lifeline. As women become more economically independent, this trend will hopefully decline.
Social status: this is where the rubber meets the road. How your friends perceive you is the barometer of your life, so it is essential that they regard you in high esteem. Smoking and excessive drinking are staples of manly behavior, and treating your friends and colleagues to expensive dinners and excursions are necessary to gain their favor.
I don't consider myself to be a real macho guy, but I enjoyed getting down and dirty back in the States. I enjoyed weekend sports games with the guys, camping, hiking, getting my mosh on at local music venues, coaxing every bit of life and power out of my 1982 diesel Volkswagen Rabbit, doing odd jobs around the house, etc. When I came to China, my manly outlets seemed rather limited. Like most foreigners fresh off the boat, I got caught up in the whirlwind of clubbing and chasing girls. After a few years though, the novelty of that wore off, and I turned to more "serious" manly pursuits, like getting married, buying an apartment, and more recently trying to establish myself in a career in teaching.
To be honest, my fascination with tattoos has also been an outlet of testosterone, getting an adrenaline rush from the "delicious pain." All things considered, though, I miss the chest-thumping King-Kong moments that makes a man really feel like a man. But I guess in the end, a true man is someone who cares for his family and takes responsibility for himself and his actions. Anything beyond that is just showing off.
Bruce Lee- now there's a guy who was a manly man, no matter what culture you're from.
Most of the things we equate with manliness in America are largely absent from the Middle Kingdom. In China, if something breaks, call a repairman or buy a new one, because services are speedy and cheap, and most things are replaceable anyway. If you're lucky enough to have a car, it's usually a late model European brand, and those don't break anyway. Abusing your body in the name of sport or athletic challenge is a waste of time and health, and scars are meant to be hidden, not bragged about.
In China, flexing one's manly muscles usually boils down to three things: money, women, and social status. Of course these are essential manliness indicators in every country and culture but here in China, these are usually your best options.
Money: the more you got, the more man you are. If you own a wedding portrait studio, you are perceived as being more manly than someone who repairs cars for a living, because you are the boss, and boss=manly. And of course, with money comes the next two items on the list, so money is the crown of manliness.
Women: like money, the more you got, the more man you are. It is virtually unthinkable for a man of high status and wealth to have only one woman in his life. If you are a manly man, you've got enough dough to spread around on mistresses, KTV girls, and hookers. That's not to say that all Chinese guys indulge these appetites, but it really is an integral part of the culture and most men jump right in if they have the means. Of course, the women are usually not cool with it, but they often tolerate it because their philandering man is their lifeline. As women become more economically independent, this trend will hopefully decline.
Social status: this is where the rubber meets the road. How your friends perceive you is the barometer of your life, so it is essential that they regard you in high esteem. Smoking and excessive drinking are staples of manly behavior, and treating your friends and colleagues to expensive dinners and excursions are necessary to gain their favor.
I don't consider myself to be a real macho guy, but I enjoyed getting down and dirty back in the States. I enjoyed weekend sports games with the guys, camping, hiking, getting my mosh on at local music venues, coaxing every bit of life and power out of my 1982 diesel Volkswagen Rabbit, doing odd jobs around the house, etc. When I came to China, my manly outlets seemed rather limited. Like most foreigners fresh off the boat, I got caught up in the whirlwind of clubbing and chasing girls. After a few years though, the novelty of that wore off, and I turned to more "serious" manly pursuits, like getting married, buying an apartment, and more recently trying to establish myself in a career in teaching.
To be honest, my fascination with tattoos has also been an outlet of testosterone, getting an adrenaline rush from the "delicious pain." All things considered, though, I miss the chest-thumping King-Kong moments that makes a man really feel like a man. But I guess in the end, a true man is someone who cares for his family and takes responsibility for himself and his actions. Anything beyond that is just showing off.
Bruce Lee- now there's a guy who was a manly man, no matter what culture you're from.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Our First Wedding Anniversary and First Ultrasound
This is the first sneak-peek at the little anklebiter on the way. This is at almost 3 months, so it's too early to tell if it's a boy or a girl. Either one is fine with me, though if it's a girl I'd probably get high blood pressure because we all know how crazy people are for mixed-blood beauties in China :-/. Actually Chinese people are crazy for any babies, especially those who aren't Chinese, so I'll have to brush up on my kung fu defensive tactics to keep away the vultures.
Tina and I celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary on February 12th at Gu Lang Yu Island, which is a quaint historic island a few minutes off the coast of Xiamen island (about a seven minute ferry ride). It was fun taking a one-night vacation and still be able to see our building from across the bay :-). Our New Year's celebration was pretty low-key because Xiamen bans fireworks so the whole town basically becomes a ghost town for the weekend (instead of a war zone, which is the usual transformation most cities undergo during Spring Festival). We also lost precious hours of our life watching the Spring Festival broadcast on CCTV1, which everyone in China agrees was ultra-lame. I don't expect much but at least in the past the shows have been a bit of a spectacle, but this year's production was straight out of local variety show television. It was an epic fail.
I haven't gotten any new tattoo work done in over six months, and I think I'm gonna hang up the needle for awhile, probably until after the baby is born. Between mortgage, American debt (>:-/) and impending baby, I won't have too much spare cash to inject under my skin. But this isn't the end of the tattoo saga my friends, oh no...
I hope the new year finds you happy and healthy. Change is good, sometimes fun, never boring, and should be embraced.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Chinese Tattoos in the NBA - The Good, The Bad, and The Whack
Since I broke the news about Yao Ming's rock n' roll tattoo a few months back, I've been paying more attention to NBA players' tattoos. Of course it doesn't take too much effort to spot them, since several players feature more ink than a member of the Japanese yakuza. And since the NBA is all about trends, dozens of players feature Chinese character tattoos. And as we shall see, some are good, some are bad, and some are just plain whack.
Allen Iverson - 76ers
Small, reasonably well-done tattoo meaning "loyalty." Nothing special, a very common tattoo in the West.
Jeff McInnis - Bobcats
Two tattoos- right arm is the Chinese translation for "Jeff" and the left arm means "a state of bliss." Bland calligraphy, but otherwise correct.
Marcus Camby - Nuggets
A very large and well-written Chinese phrase meaning "strive for the clan." However, according to Hanzismatter, Camby's "clan" is not real. I think "family" would have been a better choice of words.
Chris Andersen - Hornets
The "Birdman" is famous for his impressive array of tattoos, considering he looks like a stockbroker trying to recapture his punk-rock youth. Buried in the tattoo mess are two Chinese characters on his arms- left arm reads "Good" and right arm says "Bad." However, Andersen's choice for "bad" also means "nausea". I think a simple 好/不好 interplay would have been more appropriate, but maybe not the kind of "bad" Andersen was looking for. Although "nausea" is apparently what he gives many sportswriters who take issue with his abundant ink.
Marquis Daniels - Pacers
Chalk this up to "WTF?" He says it's his initials in Chinese characters, but the more clued-in among us know that there's no such thing as a Chinese alphabet. As far as I can tell, his characters are 康, which means "health," 文 or 女, meaning "knowledge" or "woman," respectively, and the last character isn't even real. It's the cap found on characters such as 宝 or 安, but by itself, it means nothing. Fail.
Shawn Marion - Mavericks
Shawn "The Matrix" Marion thought it would be cool to get his nickname in Chinese on his leg. What he got instead means "Demon Bird Mothballs." *cue spittake*
So what did we learn today kids? When in doubt, ask Yao Ming.
Allen Iverson - 76ers
Small, reasonably well-done tattoo meaning "loyalty." Nothing special, a very common tattoo in the West.
Jeff McInnis - Bobcats
Two tattoos- right arm is the Chinese translation for "Jeff" and the left arm means "a state of bliss." Bland calligraphy, but otherwise correct.
Marcus Camby - Nuggets
A very large and well-written Chinese phrase meaning "strive for the clan." However, according to Hanzismatter, Camby's "clan" is not real. I think "family" would have been a better choice of words.
Chris Andersen - Hornets
The "Birdman" is famous for his impressive array of tattoos, considering he looks like a stockbroker trying to recapture his punk-rock youth. Buried in the tattoo mess are two Chinese characters on his arms- left arm reads "Good" and right arm says "Bad." However, Andersen's choice for "bad" also means "nausea". I think a simple 好/不好 interplay would have been more appropriate, but maybe not the kind of "bad" Andersen was looking for. Although "nausea" is apparently what he gives many sportswriters who take issue with his abundant ink.
Marquis Daniels - Pacers
Chalk this up to "WTF?" He says it's his initials in Chinese characters, but the more clued-in among us know that there's no such thing as a Chinese alphabet. As far as I can tell, his characters are 康, which means "health," 文 or 女, meaning "knowledge" or "woman," respectively, and the last character isn't even real. It's the cap found on characters such as 宝 or 安, but by itself, it means nothing. Fail.
Shawn Marion - Mavericks
Shawn "The Matrix" Marion thought it would be cool to get his nickname in Chinese on his leg. What he got instead means "Demon Bird Mothballs." *cue spittake*
So what did we learn today kids? When in doubt, ask Yao Ming.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Update for 2010
It's been a while since I've posted here because the VPN I was using go the ax, and now it's working again for some reason. Like the judo penguins in the film Madagascar always say: "Just smile and wave boys, just smile and wave." Don't ask questions, just go with the flow.
Still doin' my thing in Xiamen University, currently enjoying a month-and-a-half long Spring Festival holiday. This stretch of bland weather (and no fireworks in Xiamen- gotta keep this tourist city sparkling! >:-/) is usually when Tina and I pack our bags and head out in search of adventure, but this time the adventure came to us: we're gonna have a baby.
Tina's about two months along now, and she feels tired a lot and pukes occasionally (quick clarification: it's not morning sickness, my buddy and fellow-father-to-be calls it baby sickness, because it happens anytime anywhere, not just the morning). But since I'm on holiday, I'm around to be the house husband. The timing of this thing is actually pretty sweet. I'm able to take care of Tina during the difficult (and vulnerable- fingers crossed!) first trimester, and then when it's time to head back to work, hopefully Tina will be feeling better enough so she won't need me around as much. And then by the time the summer holiday rolls around, she'll be all blimpish- in a cute, adorable way of course- but I won't have anything on my plate so I'll be back on point again. If things go well, we'll have a late August delivery date. I've already got the spot picked out on my arm where I'm going to ink the little anklebiter's name.
Of course I'm nervous, though not about being a father. This is something I've always wanted, and I know it's gonna kick my ass, but truthfully, I'm ready for a new chapter in life. Tina's pretty stoked too, when she's not feeling sick :-). I read all kinds of scary reports about birth defects, miscarriages, and a whole multitude of complications, but I tell myself that it's out of our hands. Whatever God chooses to give us, or not give us, is up to Him. So right now, we're enjoying the ride as much as we can and looking forward to the future. I've always liked change, and right now there's a lot going on with the new house and baby on the horizon. Sometimes I look back at my much simpler, more carefree, party-hearty life but I'm glad to be where I am now. This is the way it's supposed to be.
Still doin' my thing in Xiamen University, currently enjoying a month-and-a-half long Spring Festival holiday. This stretch of bland weather (and no fireworks in Xiamen- gotta keep this tourist city sparkling! >:-/) is usually when Tina and I pack our bags and head out in search of adventure, but this time the adventure came to us: we're gonna have a baby.
Tina's about two months along now, and she feels tired a lot and pukes occasionally (quick clarification: it's not morning sickness, my buddy and fellow-father-to-be calls it baby sickness, because it happens anytime anywhere, not just the morning). But since I'm on holiday, I'm around to be the house husband. The timing of this thing is actually pretty sweet. I'm able to take care of Tina during the difficult (and vulnerable- fingers crossed!) first trimester, and then when it's time to head back to work, hopefully Tina will be feeling better enough so she won't need me around as much. And then by the time the summer holiday rolls around, she'll be all blimpish- in a cute, adorable way of course- but I won't have anything on my plate so I'll be back on point again. If things go well, we'll have a late August delivery date. I've already got the spot picked out on my arm where I'm going to ink the little anklebiter's name.
Of course I'm nervous, though not about being a father. This is something I've always wanted, and I know it's gonna kick my ass, but truthfully, I'm ready for a new chapter in life. Tina's pretty stoked too, when she's not feeling sick :-). I read all kinds of scary reports about birth defects, miscarriages, and a whole multitude of complications, but I tell myself that it's out of our hands. Whatever God chooses to give us, or not give us, is up to Him. So right now, we're enjoying the ride as much as we can and looking forward to the future. I've always liked change, and right now there's a lot going on with the new house and baby on the horizon. Sometimes I look back at my much simpler, more carefree, party-hearty life but I'm glad to be where I am now. This is the way it's supposed to be.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Temptations
There's a very visible and popular figure with a gorgeous and exotic wife. However, because of his popularity, he is continually surrounded by and getting attention from beautiful women, and eventually he succumbs to the temptation, indulging his appetite for cheap thrills at relatively low-class establishments such as clubs and bars.
Sounds like Tiger Woods. But it could also be the hotshot foreign manager at the Shanghai office. Or the energetic foreign teacher at the university. Or the highly-regarded consultant who is brought to China several times a year for his expert opinions.
The fact is, if you're tired of eating at home and want to try a different dish, China is certainly an easy place to do it. You don't have to be a rich superstar- with the exception of first-tier cities where foreigners are old news, just being from a different country is enough to make many girls' eyes sparkle. Throw in the fact that Chinese girls are so gosh-darn beautiful and alluring, and you've got a recipe for easy creepin'.
Inside of every man is a dog, a dog with three things on his mind (and pardon the French that follows for the sake of alliteration): fighting, fucking, and feeding. These are primal masculine urges and they're very strong. But we're not dogs, we're men. The dog is a part of us, but there's something more inside that should overwhelm the dog. That's the gentleman, the lover, the father, the one who cares about others' feelings and realizes that short-term selfish satisfaction is callous and unrewarding.
I see so many wonderful girls in China who are treated so carelessly by their husbands/boyfriends. Now I know there are plenty of skanks and bitches in China, but I am continually amazed by Chinese woman's patience and devotion to their men, even if there is little reciprocation. A good woman should be treasured, and that means saying no to all the cheesecake walking around, even if that cheesecake practically throws itself at you. When I discuss relationships with my students, invariably the girls say that the trait they value most in a partner is honesty. A good woman shouldn't be dogged; her devotion should be returned. My wife is a masterpiece and everything that I want in a woman, and even though sometimes the dog inside snarls and barks, I'm not letting him off the leash.
Sounds like Tiger Woods. But it could also be the hotshot foreign manager at the Shanghai office. Or the energetic foreign teacher at the university. Or the highly-regarded consultant who is brought to China several times a year for his expert opinions.
The fact is, if you're tired of eating at home and want to try a different dish, China is certainly an easy place to do it. You don't have to be a rich superstar- with the exception of first-tier cities where foreigners are old news, just being from a different country is enough to make many girls' eyes sparkle. Throw in the fact that Chinese girls are so gosh-darn beautiful and alluring, and you've got a recipe for easy creepin'.
Inside of every man is a dog, a dog with three things on his mind (and pardon the French that follows for the sake of alliteration): fighting, fucking, and feeding. These are primal masculine urges and they're very strong. But we're not dogs, we're men. The dog is a part of us, but there's something more inside that should overwhelm the dog. That's the gentleman, the lover, the father, the one who cares about others' feelings and realizes that short-term selfish satisfaction is callous and unrewarding.
I see so many wonderful girls in China who are treated so carelessly by their husbands/boyfriends. Now I know there are plenty of skanks and bitches in China, but I am continually amazed by Chinese woman's patience and devotion to their men, even if there is little reciprocation. A good woman should be treasured, and that means saying no to all the cheesecake walking around, even if that cheesecake practically throws itself at you. When I discuss relationships with my students, invariably the girls say that the trait they value most in a partner is honesty. A good woman shouldn't be dogged; her devotion should be returned. My wife is a masterpiece and everything that I want in a woman, and even though sometimes the dog inside snarls and barks, I'm not letting him off the leash.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
It Will All End One Day
I'm a huge fan of apocalypse movies and Tina and I were like giddy schoolchildren as we scurried over to the local cinema for Roland Emmerich's 2012. In all honesty though, it wasn't as much fun as I had hoped, though it was a dazzling eye-candy-fest of devastation.
With all the doomsday fears swirling around from crackpots and legitimate sources alike, I've been doing a lot more thinking about the "end of the world." And you know what, it's really not that bad. Now before you think I'm a lunatic, gimme a minute to explain.
Everything is going to end one day. That's the truth. Whether it's simply our death or the actual end of the world, life as you and I know it is finite. But that is actually a tremendous relief. Think about it: no matter what happens in life, it will all end someday.
Is your life grand and fabulous? Well savor and enjoy it, because it will all end one day. Is your life a crap stew? Well no one can promise that it will get better, but at least it will all end one day. Are you nervous about your career trajectory and stalling on important decisions? Well get on the ball, because it will all end one day. Anything unrelenting is torture, even life. But don't sweat it. It will all end one day.
With all the doomsday fears swirling around from crackpots and legitimate sources alike, I've been doing a lot more thinking about the "end of the world." And you know what, it's really not that bad. Now before you think I'm a lunatic, gimme a minute to explain.
Everything is going to end one day. That's the truth. Whether it's simply our death or the actual end of the world, life as you and I know it is finite. But that is actually a tremendous relief. Think about it: no matter what happens in life, it will all end someday.
Is your life grand and fabulous? Well savor and enjoy it, because it will all end one day. Is your life a crap stew? Well no one can promise that it will get better, but at least it will all end one day. Are you nervous about your career trajectory and stalling on important decisions? Well get on the ball, because it will all end one day. Anything unrelenting is torture, even life. But don't sweat it. It will all end one day.
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