Tuesday, April 22, 2008

O'Reilly: The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend

AP- Famed comedian Bill O'Reilly of the satirical news channel FOX News stunned his legions of loyal viewers by commending Chinese mobs on their vehement protests of France and the French enterprises such as Carrefour that have invaded their country. O'Reilly has long been a vocal opponent of China's Communist party and government strategies but today O'Reilly revealed that he is willing to bury the hatemongering hatchet in pursuit of a common enemy: France.

O'Reilly has been rabidly anti-French for most of the 21st century. He became particularly incensed when the French opposed America's mission to liberate Iraq from Hussein's tyrannical regime and promptly called for a "boycott of France." O'Reilly encouraged his viewers to abstain from anything French or French-related to express contempt for what he felt was a country of lazy, ineffectual pseudo-intellectuals who would rather analyze a situation ad nauseum than actually get off their asses and do something about it. Now China and O'Reilly have joined forces, and though the truce between the two powerhouses may be tenuous, representatives for both sides expressed confidence that together, they can grind the French scourge into the dust of history.

As of press time, there was no word yet as to whether O'Reilly would be traveling to China to hoist his own protest sign among the masses assembled outside Chinese Carrefour supermarkets, though he did encourage all Americans to boycott their own local Carrefour markets, which may actually be displaying signs reading "Wal-Mart" in an attempt to escape protests.

-The Associated Prezz

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